Big Shows
7/28

Hi Friends and Fans,
Big Perm here.
How you doing?

Gas is 19 dollars a hour, Breast Milk costs 3 babies plus a picture with Sasquatch, and that SoulJah Boy ring tone doesn't make your sister giggle anymore.

Cheer up!, let me take you to the Carnival, drop the hammer at the strong man contest and win you that stuffed purple dinosaur.

What I am talking?.... "BIG SHOWS", of course.

WASHINGTON DC, BALTIMORE and CHICAGO.
Mind blowing events that will make you smile crooked and laugh like your scratch off Lotto ticket said 'FREE WEED' 3 times.

Thursday, August 7Th,
7:30 PM, Doors Open at 7:00 PM
THE DC COMEDY FEST PRESENTS
"Hysterical Vibrations"
This is an one of a kind comedy and musical experience blending a Stand-Up Comedy Show with one of the best upcoming reggae/rock bands from The DC Area at a historic synagogue.
Staring: Comedian Rob Cantrell
Featuring: Comedian Michelle Buteau
SPECIAL MUSICAL GUEST: LIONIZE
Lionize will play a very special Instrumental/Dub set to open the show while the audience takes their seats and then return with a longer set with vocals after the comics perform.
Tickets Are $14.00
Sixth & I Historic Synagogue
600 I Street N.W.
Washington D.C. 20001
202/408-3100
sixthandi.org
dccomedyfest.com
Show Flyer

BALTIMORE COMEDY FACTORY
410-547-7798
"Welcome To The Machine"
ONE Show Thursday
THREE shows a night Friday and Saturday
36 Light Street
I give these shows a little extra kick by dousing my jokes with OLD BAY.

NEXT CHI TOWN
THE LAKESHORE THEATER
September 19Th & 20Th
This will be my Solo Debut in the Windy City. The last two times I was at "The Lakeshore' was with Marijuana-loges. This time, I am on my own, come out, then we will go get a deep dish hot dog together.

PEACE, LOVE & HAVING FUN

ROB

Mad Wood
4/24

I have a new short film posted on 'Funny or Die'!

Watch it 8 times, then tell your friends, Moms and brother's lovers.

'MAD WOOD MIX TAPE: Revenge Of The Tree'

Thanks U's are in order to everyone that came out and supported the Arlington Cinema Drafthouse Epic 4/20 Comedy Hollidaze: NORML, LIONIZE, WJFK, The Onion, The ITCH, Tony Camin and Nico. This show was all good and the crowd was laughing mighty high. I premiered the "MAD WOOD MIX TAPE" on the big screen to start the show. It was a good sign when people started laughing as soon as I introduced the film as an underground pencil fighting mix tape.

If you are looking for some great music to make that perfect summer mix-tape that will get you into Molly Ringwald's pants or just nice to roll a spliff to. Check out this Steel Pulse and Clutch influenced band of hemp holligans from MaryLand.

LIONIZE

Sidney Mills from Steel Pulse is producing their new record and Clutch is all over it. Have sun and fun on the road guys.

peace

rc

The Desire 2 Steal Fire
3/5

In the smoky world of smoking, Lighter-stealing comes with the territory. Sticky fingers are always in play when it comes to Bics, Zippos, and other fire wielding devices. Much like lighter stealing, electing a President of the United States is a greasy game where no one can be trusted. I can predict our next president with one simple question. If you were smoking a fine Cigar, burning tires at a Monster Truck Rally or lighting up a 8 FOOT BONG HIT of Turkish Hash, which one of the two candidates would steal your lighter?

Look at every past Presidential election and the candidate who is most likely to steal your lighter wins the race every time. I can predict who our next president is going to be by using this simple equation. Which one of the two candidates would steal your lighter if you were hanging?

20004 George Bush vs. John Kerry
Georgie is going to steal your Lighter. John Kerry is too busy adjusting his parasailing harness.

2000 George Bush vs. Al Gore
George is going to steal your Lighter. Sorry Al, your nice and your robot is funky fresh, but gimme back my lighter dude.

1996 Bill Clinton vs. Bob Dole
Bill is going to steal your Lighter and your Mom's virginity.

1992 Bill Clinton vs. George Bush Sr.
Bill is like a thief in night, eating a Turkey sandwich.

1988 George Bush Sr vs. Michael Dukakis
Dukakis? DaDorkis. Nah man. George Sr. is going steal your lighter.

1984 Ronald Regan vs. Walter Mondale
Ronald Regan is going to get your Lighter. Regan sucks trickle down ballz, but Hollywood creates the best lighter stealers. I am sure some bunk coked out TV writer will steal this equation and win an Emmy.

1980 Ronald Regan vs. Jimmy Carter
Ronald Regan is going to steal your Lighter.

1976 Jimmy Carter vs. Gerald Ford
Jimmy Carter is going to steal your lighter and then send it back to you a week later with a jar peanuts.

You get this gist. It works all the way down line.

The good news is the Democrats have two lighter stealers, Hillary will steal your lighter but Barack will steal a lighter from a lighter stealer strait up. McCain? McCain is going to get his wallet stolen and stabbed in the neck with a pencil.

Here are some tunes I downloaded from ITunes:

Wearing and Tearing — Led Zeppelin, Coda

Miracles — Mambo Sauce, DJ Flexx Presents Last Call

One Track Mind — Stinky Dink, Bring Da Beat Back: DC GO GO

Doin‚ It Like This — Z-Trip & Clutch, All Pro

Four Kicks — Kings Of Leon, Aha Shake Heartbreak

Fuck What You Heard — Dub Tro, Another Sound Is Dying

Ripple — Jane's Addiction, Rev

We Celebrate — Ghostface Killah, The Big Doe Rehab

— RC